Snarky Behavior

DC Hot Cops

May 9, 2007 · Leave a Comment


These guys are pros, Michael. They’re gonna push the tension till the last possible moment before they strip.
GOB Bluth

Well, it’s been nearly a month since the District of Columbia received my 2006 tax return. I’d like to point out that my accompanying check for $46.43 was cashed within a day of receipt. (I’m guessing there are a ton of bad checks written in this city to the Tax Authority).

Now, despite the “Taxation Without Representation” motto, I feel pretty comfortable with how my money is spent in DC. The metro runs decently enough, the streets are reasonably well maintained, the sidewalks are generally clear, and the rats are only a minor issue (I propose a feral cat initiative… sorry, Bob Barker). The crime in my neighborhood is way down, and I generally feel safe.

True, the city pays more per-student than any other school district, and does an overall appalling job of educating its youth (”Thomas Jefferson was the gayest president ever!“– duh, it was William Henry Harrison). True, the Washington Nationals suck and I am uncomfortable with local government ponying up for their half-assed stadium design. True, the city did an awful job of snow-removal this year. And true, the city that headquarters every major environmental NGO is embarrassingly behind in terms of recycling.

Those things I can live with. I hope my $46.43 and the rest of my withholdings went to improving these issues.

What I cannot live with is arbitrary enforcement of the law… especially when it is arbitrarily enforced against ME.

Today I was issued a citation in the amount of $10 in a “jay-walking” sting on 15th and Rhode Island. I kid you not. Officer Wright of the MPD stopped me for entering the intersection with 6 seconds remaining on the flashing hand, and safely crossing the street within the cross-walk without obstructing any traffic.

I asked him: “you’re kidding, right?” He assured me, he was not kidding. It’s weird how cops get unfairly stereotyped as assholes.

Not that I blame him. If I were a cop, I’d rather cherry-pick young professionals ambulating on their way to work rather than, you know, preventing crime.

Obviously I have no intention of paying this fine.

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