Snarky Behavior

I just got back from a weekend in New York, courtesy of the Chinatown-to-Chinatown Dragon Express bus. This bus smells like stale farts and duck. And I’m pretty sure it’s where the first case of SARS was discovered.

I don’t ever intend to turn this blog into some kind of lame live-journal, but there are just too many highlights to tell from the weekend. In no particular order:

• On my trip out to NYC, I actually waited in DC’s Chinatown for the WRONG BUS SERVICE!! (<<—- huge idiot). There are multiple lines that make that trip and I had assumed that I bought my ticket online from the bus that departs on 7th St, when in actuality my bus left without me from 5th. I guess that’s not that amusing but, it would prove to be an auspicious departure.
• On my return trip, a girl sitting in front of me puked out her boba onto my leg. I swear on my life that I am not making this up. Not spit up. Puked. On my leg. While I was eating a sandwich. Disgusting.
• I watched this Dramatic Squirrel at least 25 times (incredible):
• When my friend Danny was trying to meet me at the drop-off spot in Chinatown at 11:30 pm, it took us about 25 minutes to realize that he was at 88 Broadway and I was at 88 E(ast) Broadway (<—- again, huge idiot). When we realized our mistake and he jumped in a cab to come meet me, the cab driver was FURIOUS that he didn’t know the cross-street. Here’s the exchange:
• Cabbie: “Why are you give me such difficult direction?!”
• Danny: “I’m sorry sir, isn’t that YOUR job?”
• Cabbie: “You expect me to know every address in city???”
• Danny: “It’s on East Broadway! You’re on a meter, just drive and we’ll eyeball it!
• That whole exchange left us flabbergasted. If cab driving is the only transitional industry we can offer to first generation immigrants from the middle east/south asia, it’s no surprise that they hate us.
• I walked around the campus at Columbia University with no shirt on because I napped in dog shit while laying in the grass in Morningside Park. I was worried Danny might asphyxiate himself from extended giggling at my expense.
• As it turns out, I’m a natural cornholer. Suprisingly, this link is safe for work.
• I made a cast of my lower extremities out of aluminum (pronounced the British way, for fun) and pinned it to Danny’s outdoor dartboard. The perfect conversation piece to match the ugly glass-top table his neighbor asked him to store for her indefinitely.

Of course there were some other great minor events and our Saturday night dancing to the 80s.

It was just a fantastic weekend to be in the city (the weather was incredible) and I’m extra excited to be moving up there in a couple months. Anyone with a heads up on a place to live in mid-town/Upper West/Morningside/Harlem, drop me a line.