Snarky Behavior

…and my brain is loopy from Tylenol Cold and Sinus.  I feel like that one commercial where there’s a stick figure guy with a huge schnozz, and he’s got such intense sinus pressure that causes his head to float away like a helium balloon.  I might be confusing the memory of this commercial with the Tootsie Roll commercial with Mr. Owl, or maybe just the Oral B guy brushing his teeth.  He was a suspicious character.  Like a French pervert or something.

Anyway the point of this post was to explain the lack of writing, I suppose.  Quick and dirty answer:  I’m busy, and now sick.  Here’s some machine gun thoughts:

1.)  Just watched “Eagle vs. Shark” while laying in bed.  This movie… is… atrocious… honestly… could you hipsters out there be more pleased with your ironic tales of mediocrity?  It’s like an inside joke that you tell so often that you’ve forgotten why it’s funny in the first place, and meanwhile everyone who is on the outside is either confused or (like me) annoyed at your self-referential style of humor.  I could watch a mix-tape of white guys with framed glasses and skinny jeans getting kicked in the nards from 80 different angles and be more satisfied with the time spent than I was watching this movie.  What really bothers me is somewhere out there is a confused young person without a compass of common sense who thinks this movie is the end-all-be-all of “real” romantic comedies, who completely identifies with the anti-heroes portrayed in these hipster shit flicks, and who fail to realize that the opposite of Hollywood fantasy isn’t reality, it’s only non-Hollywood fantasy.  Which means “boring unfunny hipster bullshit.”  Give me Hollywood any day.

2.)  The Oscars are rigged.  I’m too sick to explain the argument, but the fact that every major film hedged a winner in each of the major categories assured me of the fact that either a.) Oscar voters coordinate their votes to reward all the deserving films/studios, or b.) Oscar voters do this de facto without any outside influence or compulsion.  This has to be the case.  Also, congratulations to Daniel Day Lewis.  There Will be Blood is the best film of the year, despite what Oscar voters have to say.  They should lose their vote after “Crash,” anyway.

3.)  Also watched “300″ while in bed.  AMAZING.  What a great freaking story.  Also cracks me up that McNulty plays the traitorous villain.  Always humping from behind, that one.