Snarky Behavior

Clinton’s Advisors

April 2, 2008 · 2 Comments

Penn
Is it just me, or does the Clinton campaign seem to be filled with villains from the Batman franchise?
Clearly Mark Penn is the penguin… the half-breed who shaves his teeth and eats raw fish like Golem.
Clinton herself is the Joker, for her perma-grin and oddly timed cackles. (I will now resign for that unfair and sexist ad-hominem attack).
But it gets better! The LA Times is reporting on Harold Ickes (the Scarecrow) who is now responsible for pouring the pestilence into the ears of Superdelegates:
In a Clinton campaign that can seem machinelike, Ickes is conspicuous for his idiosyncrasies. A female aide said that when she noticed his dress shirt unbuttoned practically to the navel, it was like glimpsing an unzipped fly.
I ‘m not sure how this whole mess is going to play out, but I am sure if it were a Hollywood script, it would end with Penn making some double-crossed backroom deal with Obama at the convention, then Obama wigging out on stage Othello-style and stabbing Penn in the gut like the Queen in 300 did to McNulty, and whispering: “Here’s a microtrend for you… your stomach bile is slowly dissolving your internal organs. It will not be quick… it will be painful.” Then throwing his hands up in the air as he’s tackled by the secret service.
That would be Hollywood’s take. And it would be an utterly redemptive scene. To see Obama, the model of temperance, be upended by the very machinations he had worked so hard to transcend, and realize everything he had worked so hard for had been stolen by a sniveling self-proclaimed “mastermind”… the whole audience would be rooting for Penn to get got.
But oh yeah, this is the most important election ever. So let’s continue to give these power-brokers credit for destroying that hope to transcend the stupid bickering that they themselves are responsible for. And let’s call the negative trench warfare gains the Clinton’s have managed “momentum,” and let’s slowly destroy the most inspirational political candidate since Bobby Kennedy.
Yeah, that sounds like a better ending.

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