Snarky Behavior

Rules of Thumb

June 26, 2008 · 6 Comments

If it takes less than 5 minutes to write/respond to an e-mail, do it.

If you receive an application/form/bill that has an extended deadline, fill it in when you receive it.

If you get a text, respond immediately.

If you get a forwarded e-mail, send a one sentence response confirming you read/looked at it.

If you get an Evite, and you’re not sure if you can go, wait until the follow-up reminder.  Responding “maybe” is like saying “if nothing else better pops up.”  Always leave a witty response… it’s not just expected, it’s the law.

If you use g-mail, archive an e-mail as soon as you’ve responded to it.  Only star e-mails that you can’t get to right away (i.e. those that take longer than 5 minutes of your time).

If you’re inviting people to something, either use Evite or start using Google Invitations.  It’s nice to have events automatically stored in your calendar.

If you screen someone’s call, send them a text letting them know why you can’t pick up.

If you’re running late, send a text letting someone know how far away you are.  If you’re underground (on the subway)… time stamp your text, because it might not get sent right away.

If you join a GoogleGroup, start using filters/labels so that you can triage your gmail.

After the age of 25, stop posting obscenely drunk photos of people on facebook.  Not just tagging, POSTING.

If someone has something in their teeth, and you’re a friend, just tell them.

…feel free to add to the list.

Categories: Opinion
Tagged: , , ,

6 responses so far ↓

  • Joe // June 26, 2008 at 6:40 pm | Reply

    If you are not 15, do not use Facebook’s Wall as a primary means of communicating with anyone.

    Do not use ‘u’ for ‘you,’ ‘2nite’ for ‘tonight,’ or ‘ez’ for ‘easy,’ unless you are texting. Never ever use ‘kool.’

    If you are invited to something that is small and requires guest shuffling if you can’t make it (like a dinner party), respond immediately. If you’re not sure if you can make it, make a decision.

    If you’re late, and a cab is quicker than the subway, suck it up and pay for the cab. Next time you won’t be late.

    If you invite someone to a few different things a few different times and they always politely decline, stop inviting them. They don’t want to hang out with you.

    Unless they’re your good friend. Then ask them what the fuck is the deal.

    Every once in a while write a real email to a good friend. Hell, even call.

    Wait until you’re not drunk, to do this, if you’re 25 or older.

    That said, drunk dial friends you are often in touch with. It’s funny.

    Finally, if you go to an expensive restaurant with a large group of people, order something normal and divide the bill by the number of persons attending. Unless you are a vegan and order water and lettuce, and everyone else has surf and turf, do not make the bill-paying take 20 minutes by quibbling over a few dollars. You knew what you were getting into when you agreed to go to dinner.

  • Ross // June 26, 2008 at 8:53 pm | Reply

    I am still posting drunk pictures of you on facebook.

    And tagging them.

  • John // June 27, 2008 at 1:44 am | Reply

    Try to learn everything you can. Its ok if you don’t understand something, as long as there was an honest effort. That being said, don’t give up too quickly.

    If you are embarrassed to be seen buying condoms with the person you are dating, you shouldn’t be having sex.

    Every relationship is a learning experience. If you didn’t learn something about yourself when it ends, you are going to make the same mistakes with the next person.

    Never be caught reading a Chicken Soup for the Soul book. Ever.

  • Rohit // June 27, 2008 at 1:59 pm | Reply

    There is never an appropriate time to pop your collar.

    If you borrow money from someone, pay them back; don’t wait until they have to ask you.

    If you have a website, publish an Atom feed. No one wants to click through to read the second half of your post.

    Don’t be the only guy wasted at the company happy hour.

    At a certain age, getting drunk and hitting on your friends one after another is not cute; it’s creepy and desperate.

    If it’s something important, send an e-mail, not a Facebook wall post/message.

    Don’t ever talk shit about a friend’s significant other to their face. Ever. Wait until they’ve broken up for good.

    If an old friend is in town, make an effort to see them. What ever you have going on, it’s probably not that important.

  • Jon // June 27, 2008 at 4:10 pm | Reply

    All brilliant contributions, thanks guys.

  • Serena // July 11, 2008 at 8:11 am | Reply

    When you are at a buffet, do not waste your time with rice and potatoes, go straight for the expensive stuff.

Leave a Comment