Snarky Behavior

Doppel-namer

June 30, 2008 · 1 Comment

From time to time I’ll do a google search of my own name to see if there’s anything on the internets that might preclude me from a.) being brought in for an interview or b.) being met for a blind date.

MY personal page is not a top hit… but this guy’s page is…

So without further ado…Introducing… my doppel-namer!

Jon Host <mcfuckinjon>

I like girlz dat r hot sxc an fun like drum n bass,speedgarage,r&b,hip hop,rap,i av a car which iz modified car (which iz in max power mag)saxo n pug 106 u mite c it if i snd u it k inabit

That makes two of us!  I also like girls that are hot and sexy and fun!  I also like to spell phonetically!  And my car is also modified… sort of… I mean, after slamming the front bumper of my Previa against the trailer hitch of an Expedition, I had to replace the radiator and bolt the hood shut with those sick racing pins.  They eventually rusted over though.  Oh, and my mini-van would drift from time to time.  You might see it if I send you it, because I also considered inhabiting it.

Films: 2 fast 2 furious tokyo drift, alll of da american piez, 8 mile an stuff lyk dat

Hmmm… I was more about the original 2F2F.  Vin Diesel in his finest performance IMHO.  Also, if you like “all of da american piez,” does that include the Madonna cover?  How about the shitty spin offs that went straight to DVD?

Sports: football, basket balll, ma quad bike, mi scramberler

What is a scramberler?

Scared Of: nuffin man!!

I also fear the muffin man.

Happiest When: i get ma car smashed up den i get anofa 1 !!!an wen i get fuked up lol

Do those things tend to happen at the same time?  Like, can we venn diagram them together?

In reader comments:  Open poll to see who does better service to the name “Jon Host.”

Categories: Snarky
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1 response so far ↓

  • Rohit // June 30, 2008 at 7:32 pm | Reply

    I think it might be time for an open letter, in particular one in which you politely suggest that your doppel-namer kill himself. The argument could be strictly economic (and thus, not personal, which I am sure a man so thoroughly versed in the Fast and Furious would appreciate). The risk and potential devaluation of your personal brand that his presence (not only on the Internet, but on this planet) creates is probably more than his net worth over his life, even discounted at today’s low interest rates. Thus, there is a net gain to society from this course of action.

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